Grief is Like Living Two Lives: Navigating the Silent Scream with Yoga and Meditation

By Leslii Stevens Trauma Informed Yoga Teacher, ERYT500, YACEP, Ayurveda Practitioner

Grief is like living two lives. In one, you’re carrying on, pretending everything is okay, because the world keeps turning, right? People ask how you're doing, and you plaster on that polite smile, give the socially acceptable answer, and carry on. You nod, you laugh, you go to work, you do the things. But beneath the surface, there’s the second life, the one where your heart silently screams in pain, where the ache never really stops.

It’s in those quiet moments when the noise fades and you’re left alone with your thoughts, that grief sneaks back in. No matter how strong you are, it doesn’t care if you’re killing it at life, it hits you sideways. And, yeah, yoga and meditation won’t wave a magic wand to make it disappear. But what they can do is give you the tools to sit with that pain and somehow keep going.

When I first started practicing yoga, I didn’t know it would help me with grief. But let’s be real, this practice has been my lifeline. Trauma-informed yoga and meditation aren’t about avoiding the pain or forcing yourself into some Zen-like state of bliss (trust me, if it were that easy, I'd bottle it up and sell it to you with a crystal-infused mat). It’s about giving yourself permission to feel it all, good, bad, and ugly, and still breathe.

Breathing is key. Sounds simple, right? But when you're deep in grief, sometimes it feels like you can’t breathe at all. Your chest tightens, and it’s like the world is shrinking around you. In those moments, yoga helps you reconnect with your breath. Not because it will fix the pain, but because it can anchor you in the present moment, away from the what-ifs and memories.

Meditation, especially for those of us with ADHD or PTSD, can feel like trying to herd a thousand cats with a teaspoon of patience. But it’s okay if your mind races. I’ve had people tell me they can’t meditate because their mind won’t shut up, and I say, "Same." Meditation isn’t about stopping the thoughts. It’s about observing them without getting sucked into the drama. It’s about finding a small space where you can let that heart scream be heard, even if it’s only for a few moments, without it completely overwhelming you.

Some days will be harder than others, grief is wicked like that. But yoga and meditation teach you to ride the waves, rather than getting knocked over every time one hits. Some days, you're just trying to keep your head above water, and that's okay. It’s not about erasing grief but about giving you tools to move through it without losing yourself in the process.

When grief has you feeling like two people, one smiling and functioning while the other is screaming in silence yoga can be your space to be both. You don’t have to choose. You can be the person getting through the day and the person who feels like the weight of the world is on their chest. Let both of them show up on your mat, in your meditation, and in your breath.

Because pretending you're fine? That’s exhausting. But finding space to breathe, move, and acknowledge your pain? That’s power.

with love & light

Leslii